February 12, 2009

I second that emotion..

one of the girls at work and I are on the same menstrual cycle. I kinda think one of the others is too. this makes for interesting times in the office. not only is it just the four of us during the week (usually) but being overly stressed due to perosnal crap or period crap makes it INSANE here. I have a very stubborn streak in me that I'm still working with. learning that it's best to walk away, give it 24 hours and then say what you want was a process to say the least. I feel like I'm better at it then I was 5 years ago.

you can only keep your mouth shut for so long, sometimes.

I got into it today with our boss's admin. I feel terrible too but she just really frustrates me beyond anyone I've met.

NOTE: I tend to get frustrated by people who are a lot like me or people I feel complain a lot or don't work hard enough. (I have high expectations for everyone and should just keep it to myself.) it could be that we're competitive or just too simillar but it happens the most when I can really relate to someone. and usually girls, I've always been friends with more boys than girls. I'm learning that women need girlfriends in their lives - but that's a whole different post.

anyway, so I won't get into everything that happened because it's so stupid and we BOTH over reacted but I yelled at her for not doing something she should have and made a shitty assumption about how she'd react and I said it out loud to her face in the office. she then came to me and said how wrong I was and accused me of doing something that I didn't agree with and it was ridicoulous.

worst part-this poor girl has been asked to leave the company during the worst economic times in FOREVER. although I don't know all the circumstances on the reasons for the let go, it still sucks and she's stressed and I feel terrible and even more so because I could have just shut my fat mouth and let it go.

in my defense. I've butted heads with her for a long time. it has been this way since I started and I'm not sure why. we won't go into why either because I'm sure the conclusion would be that I'm insecure and just want to be accepted by this girl and haven't been because I'm too stubborn to let people in and give them trust, etc.

anyway, I don't feel like this entire thing was my fault and I didn't want it to be a big deal but it was. I'm not sure what to do about it either so I'm following what I should have earlier and taking 24 hours to relax and will ask her to talk tomorrow. because I don't want to leave this, or have her leave on such a sour note.

aagh. girls.

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